How to put on a sports bra

I accidently found this blog, while looking for Karen Mattingley's and I found this post. I thought it was hilarious. Originally it was found on Facebook. It has some medical terminology to do with women, but nothing that I thought was offensive. If hesitant with medical terms, I would avoid reading further.

1. Approach the sports bra with confidence, secure in the belief that you will wear it.

2. Holding the sports bra open by its bottom edge, peer into it and locate the medium-sized opening in the center of the cavity. This is your target.

3. Take a moment to ask yourself the following questions:

A. Am I naked from the waist up? B. Have I removed my glasses?

If the answer to either is "no," make the necessary adjustments and return to Step 1.

4. Snake your right arm through the right armhole as far as it will go. Repeat for left arm and left armhole.

5. Assume power stance: feet shoulder-width apart and knees slightly bent. Hook your thumbs into the sports bra's bottom-edge elastic and pull it out in front of you as far as possible. (Note: do not let go.)

6. In one, deft motion, pull the elastic toward you and over your head. If you have martial arts training, this would be the time to release your battle cry, or kiai.

7. You should now be standing with arms pointing skyward, the sports bra encircling you at chin level, binding your biceps to your ears.

8. Remain calm. Visualize yourself wearing the sports bra while engaged in a pleasant activity, such as not watching Jersey Shore.

9. Cross your arms in front of your face, grasp the bottom of the sports bra and begin tugging it down to your chest. This process should take 2-25 minutes and can be streamlined by the removal of one of your arms (advanced yoga practitioners only).

10. If you have followed steps 1-9 correctly, the sports bra is now strapped across the rise of your bosom, compressing the breasts downward to the point that you can see your pulse in your areolas.

11. Resume power stance (see Step 5). Holding firmly to the bottom edge of the sports bra, pull it away from your body in a downward arc until it grazes your kneecaps. Then, with a scraping motion, drag the sports bra upward along the front of your body, capturing all excess flesh in its path.


12. When the bottom elastic reaches the desired altitude on your rib cage, release it. Then, while holding the top of the sports bra away from your body with one hand, plunge the other hand into the sports bra to distribute and align its contents, which should include both of your breasts.

Note: If you are unable to locate two (2) breasts in the sports bra, do not become alarmed as they are likely nearby. Remove the sports bra (see "How to Take Off a Sports Bra") and return to Step 1 of these instructions.

Large Play Date

Yesterday we had an imprompto playdate and birthday party for a friend, here are some pictures of the kids. We all had a great time, Bryce loved it. Sadly he got a fever last night and the Croup and he and I were in the ER this morning. I am tired of bad news, so lets focus on the pictures.



This was imprompto, but we were able to bring this much food between all of us. It was great, but not friendly on the diet.



We took the kids on the field in the backyard to try and get energy out. I also discovered that balloons pop when they touch grass.

Iwanlani always has a serious face.

Bryce loves to play with Ace, he asks about him at least once a week.

Isaac always has confused look like this, but it is who he is. He is moving and we are sure going to miss that face.

Kainoa can pose for any picture, I think she may be a model when she grows up, watch out Emma.

These 3 images capture Lily perfectly, she has a sassy personality and I love it!

Bryce and Lily could not keep their eyes off eachother, if they ever get married, this will be their engagement photo and it will be a superhero themed wedding.

Eden is adorable, but the best part of the picture is that she has food all over her face.

Great Sunday!

I had a wonderful Sunday and thoroughly enjoyed the talks during Sacrament meeting. It is always wonderful to remember why we renew our covenants each week.

Models Needed

I am currently looking for High School Juniors to be representatives at their schools for me for next years Senior pictures. I am looking for two girls and two boys per school. As a representative they would get a free photo shoot, rep cards to hand out to classmates, $5 per person that books a session with me and an 8x10 print of their choosing. Please spread the word and tell family or friends. If anyone is interested please contact me ASAP!

Below are some samples of my last HS Senior Representative



Ten on Tuesday

1. Worst week ever!!!
2. Caylee woke up with the stomach flu on Saturday.
3. Bryce woke up with it this morning.
4. Jason came home with it.
5. I am working for ideas on my book, now I just need to find time to start writing. I am getting really excited about it and hope that I can actually do it.
6. I found the Masterpiece mini-series, "Downton Abbey" this week and it is amazing. If you like British movies and time period shows, you will love this. I watched the last episode today and it ended on a real cliffhanger, I am excited for the second season this year.
7. For Valentines day I scrubbed the bathroom, that was my present to Jason and he loved it. His love language is service and it meant a lot to him, I also did three loads of laundrey, changed the bedding and vacuumed the bedroom. I say that is a pretty productive day.
8. I miss Rose, a couple of times today I kept waiting to see her come down the stairs and when I realized she wouldn't I creid a little.
9. Business is a little slow right now, I haven't got to many inquiries lately and I am worried. If anyone wants to send prayers our way, please feel free.
10. I am looking into getting a grant for my business and maybe opening up a studio. I know I have to many ideas, but they all keep coming up. It is never bad to dream.

Our Sweet Rose (this may be sad, you have been warned)

Last night our dog Rose was put to sleep. She was fine on Saturday during the day, but at 10:30pm she whinned a little bit. When we woke on Sunday, she had no appetite and could not use the bathroom. We thought she was just constipated, but after we went to the Dog ER we found out that she had ruptured her stomach and surgery could not save her. I was alone with her and held her when she left this world.

Sadly, you can see her pain in the picture

Jason and I are suprised by how sad we are with her passing. We got her six weeks after we got married, and she has been with us our whole marriage. She was a family member and like family members there were good qualities and frustrating ones. Rose was very loyal, she loved to run, was very motherly especially to our babies and our other dog Oliver. When our children were still waking up in the night, Rose would come and wake me up and let me know that I needed to take care of them, it was very sweet. She did not like to be alone and suffered from some anxiety. She was a scavenger and begged for food even though we never fed her from the table. Bryce loved her a lot, he liked to race her around the house and chase her on his bike. In every prayer he would pray for her and Oliver.

Bryce does not really understand what has happened, but he tells us that she is with Jesus, but I am pretty sure he doesn't unerstand the concept. Oliver is struggling, he keeps looking around for her and wants a lot more affection. He and Rose snuggled together every night and she bathed him every morning.

As I was saying goodbye to her at the hospital, I was overwhelmed with grief and guilt. I asked her for forgiveness for getting angry with her at times, I know it was only for my benefit, but I felt the need to tell her out loud how much she meant to me and that I was sorry I was not a better mother to her. I promised that I would make a better effort with Oliver (Rose was my favorite).

Jason's father offered to come up this evening and help us with the burial. The hospital was very sweet and made her a little cardboard casket. They also made a clay mold of her paw print for us to keep. We did have a little funeral, we read Ecclesiastes 3 from the scriptures and Jason dedicated the grave. She is burried 100 feet into the woods next to our house, when it gets warmer I am going to plant a rose bush, (or a plant that will grow well in the shade) in front of her grave and carve her name into a nearbye tree. As I said earlier, we never thought that we would feel this strongly about our dogs passing, but she was a member of our family and she did have a spirit. I understand that not everyone are animal people, but for those of you who are, I know you will understand.

As I said Bryce did not understand what was going on, but her did want to help dig the grave.

I was the only one able to say goodbye, but I wanted Jason to look at her one last time and for me to get a picture to show Bryce when he is old enough to understand.

Ten on Tuesday (A frustrating Edition, it gets better toward the end)

1. The county sent us a letter letting us know that they appraised our home and it is more than $20,000 less than what we paid for it. AAAHHHH! I hate these letters because all they do is evaluate square footage, they don't take into account our granite counter tops or hard wood floor.

2. I have a migraine that hit around 5pm, it is pounding pain in the back of my head by my ears. I am hoping that I can relax now that the kids are bathed, but who knows.

3. I am still going strong in my health competition, but I am a little frustrated that I am only losing a poound a week. I feel like I am working my tail off with little resule, but some result is better than none and I am doing well with self control. I bought Jason ice cream (it is his favorite, and I haven't bought it for awhile because of temptation) and I have not had more than a bite, and I really don't feel the need to.

4. My dogs ate my french bread off of my kitchen counter, bag and all. I have a lot to express about them, but am keeping it to myself.

5. Caylee has moved to real milk, we tried her on cows milk (when she was born she had an allergy to milk protein in the baby formulas, but it was supposed to go away by now) and she started to have different types of diapers, so I went to Lactose free milk and she is still having problems, I changed 3 massive diapers today. So now I am going to try soy milk. What makes me so sad is that she loves the milk, it had always been difficult to get her to finish her soy formula bottles, but with the regular milk she is done in ten minutes. I am feeling really bad and am hoping that maybe she might have a little virus instead of an allergy.

6. Raising Hope starts again tonight.

7. I walked to a park with a friend today and had a great time. The park was a mile away, so we got in a pretty good workout, pushing two kids in a stroller is tough stuff. It felt great though, it is always nice to change up your exercise routine and having a friend to talk to is even better.

8.  Bryce wore is dinosaur hat on our walk and his friend Lilly wore her Dragon jacket and hat, they were quite the pair, it was cute.

9. As I am typing Jason is reading to Bryce. It is such a sweet sound. They are reading Don Quixote and really enjoying it together. It is one of Jason's favorite stories and I know he loves sharing it with Bryce. Being a parent has great rewards.

10. My friend Caroline's funeral was today in California. I really wanted to be there, but it was impossible. To all of my friends in California, I was there in spirit.

New Week

This is a new week and I am glad. I can start over with goals and feel better about what I accomplished each day. Yesterday I had the opportunity to teach the Young Women in my ward and I was very nervous about my lesson. I was concerned that they would not understand what I wanted them to, but at the end of the class a girl who does not come that often came up to me and opened up and said that she felt the spirit. That was the highlight of my week. I love working with these girls, they always help me to feel better no matter what.

Jason was watching Fantasia 200 with the kids and I couldn't help but take a picture. Aren't they the best looking group you have ever seen.

Here is my new love. I have been able to practice every day and I already have two songs down and it is all coming back to me quickly. Thank you Becca!!!

Family Home Evening and Some Sad News.

Bryce loves to take pictures and pose, but I like this one with the Star Wars shirt because he was running at me when I took it. On Monday Jason did FHE with the kids and made cookies with Bryce. They had such a great time together, Bryce enjoys cooking and being involved with anything that Mom and Dad are doing.

 Caylee was reaching for the camera and this is the result

They insisted I try one right away, they were PERFECT!

My angel! This is how she loves to sit, I swear she is double jointed or something.

I have had a difficult last couple of days, due to the passing away of a dear friend, but as I look at these pictures I am filled with joy. I love my family and am greatful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and for The Plan of Happiness.

To my friend: Caroline you wil live on in all of us. I am a better person because I knew you and a better Mother because of you. So many childhood memories have you in them. Thank you and goodbye! 

Ten on Tuesday

1. We were given an amazing gift last night, a 1926 Player Piano that is in working condition. I have longed for a piano in my home for a long time. Bryce loves music and goes to any piano he sees. To the Riding Family, we are eternaly greatful.

2. Bryce starts piano lessons on Thursday, we already had it scheduled because we own a keyboard. He is very excited, we went to the music store to buy his piano lesson book and he was carrying it around the store letting all patrons know that this was his book.

3. We are now covered by health insurance through Jason's company because his probationary period is over and they still like him. It is a relief to have coverage for the family and I even had a doctor's appointment today.

4. Caylee sings in the car all of the time. I am pleased that she is not afraid to express herself, but I hope that she does not stay tone deaf the rest of her life, otherwise I will need ear plugs for the car.

5. Bryce is struggling a little bit with a cold, but he has no fever. He keeps asking me for medicing though, he says he likes the way it tastes.

6. In the last two days, I have fit in two seperate size 12 jeans, I have not been able to wear them for 14 months. Woohoo!!!

7. Caylee can do the splits on both sides.

8. The weather was 70 degrees on Sunday and that little bit of warmth has ruined the rest of the winter for me. All I can think is how cold it is all the time.

9. I played my first song on my piano today, I haven't played in over 15 years.

10. We can't wait for Raising Hope to come back on TV.