Firm Foundation

I have been thinking a lot lately about life, the good, the bad and the ugly. I know that there are a lot of people who blame the Lord or others for what happens to them, they have difficulty accepting that bad things can and do happen to good people. Yesterday at church, all of the talks were on the topic of agency, they were wonderful and not what you would typically think when hearing about agency. We choose to be angry, have faith, to love, to hate, to be friends, to change our lives. All of these are choices that we make and with them we take the consequences good and bad and ride the storm. I have had my share of depression and anxiety, there were times that I have been angry that my  body is broken, but as I have gotten older I have realized that I can choose to learn from my trials and grow in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I want to share some verses from the song "How Firm a Foundation". I sent these words to a friend of mine who will most likely pass away this week. These words give me comfort and remind me, I am never alone.

In ev’ry condition—in sickness, in health,

In poverty’s vale or abounding in wealth,

At home or abroad, on the land or the sea—

As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand,

As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,

For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.

I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,

Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,

Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,

The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,

For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,

And sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee,

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,

My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.

The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design

Thy dross to consume, thy dross to consume,

Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose

I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,

I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never,

I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!

Fruit Snacks

Bryce loves fruit snacks. He knows how to open the pantry door and does so even when he is told not to. Today he has started something new. "Mommy I got fruit snacks, yay. One for me and I got one for you. I love you Mommy"
What a sneaky little fellow.

Ten on Tuesday

1. Caylee is now very mobile and I am not used to it. This week she has fallen down our stairs twice (just three steps), knocked over the baby gate every day, fallen off of a bed, but was caught by a bean bag and climbed on me while I was ridding my bike. Bryce was never this active, so I need to change my game plan.
2. My weight loss contest is going well, so far I have lost 4.9 pounds, 2.5% of my body weight. It does not seem like much, but I am proud of myself. With this I have cut out soda from my diet completely. I love caffine, and we have parted ways, it has not been easy and there are times when I weep with the longing I have for it, but it is for the best.
3. My knee is still hurting, I am completely mobile, but it still hurts all of the time. It is not a good sign, but I am still followiing my motto "Positive Outcomes Only"
4. Bryce received a hair cut this weekend, done by Jason. We had some discussions about this haircut because I wanted Bryce to have a mohawk, I thought it would be fun. He had one last year and I thought why not. Jason said that he did not like walking through WalMart and seeing every other kid having a mohawk as well. I lost the the discussion, but I may buzz Bryce's hair in the night. Muuhaawww
5. I had a phone interview for a part time stay at home job today, I think that I will get the job, it is kind of a no brainer and in my old industry.
6. My hair is 70% gray on top. I was trying to grow my hair out and not color it any more, but I found that I am too shallow and I can't handle my hair being more gray than brown. Yesterday I went to a hair salon and wanted to know what Highlights would cost and they said $100, I almost passed out when they told me. That is highway robbery! I promtly went to great clips and got a $13 haor cut and bought a $7 box color set and I must say that I look fabulous.
7. Guily pleasures, we all have them, mine are books. I love to read. This afternoon I finished a 976 page book, it only took me 8 days to read it. I think I have a problem.
8. At dinner tonight Jason and I were making jokes and having fun. Bryce looked at us like we were aliens and I felt an overwhelming love for my family. I feel so blessed!
9. I am thinking of writing a book. Please don't judge me by my spelling or writing caliber here on my blog. It has always been a dream of mine and I have some excellent ideas on the verge of sleep.
10. We had a dance party this week in our house, I highly recomend it. Bryce, Caylee and I were rocking it and we had some moves that would blow your mind. Next time you feel stressed, turn on some music really loud and have a dance party. It always helps.

Mid Year Report Card

Bryce's teacher gave me his mid year report today and we were very proud. He knows all of his letters by sight except for four of them. He knows all of his shapes, colors and numbers up to 8. The teacher asked if we practice at home and I said that we play flash cards and the memory game at least four times a week, she said that it has paid off. I am so proud of my little man, he even  listened, mostly, today!

The Challenges of Motherhood

I am really struggling with Bryce this week. At pre-schoold he was placed in time-out 6 times in a four hour period. At home he says no to everything, is hitting me and runs away, knowing that I can't run after him now. I swear three's are so much worse than two's. I am hoping he goes through this phase fast.

I am at a loss at what to do, how to discipline, but still let him know how much I l ove him. If any one has ideas, please share. I have tried bribery, timeouts, spanking, no toys, no TV and none of it really works.

With these things being said, he still has said some wonderful things and been good at times. It is amazing how frustrated I can be, but in the next instant he give Caylee a hug or me a kiss and my heart melts and I want to forget his earlier transgressions. After this week, I want to apoligize to my Mom because I know that I was a major brat and this is nothing compared to what she had to deal with. I hope that Bryce does not act like I did and that I will have my sweet angel back soon.

Ten on Tuesday

1. I am able to walk without crutches and ride the bike for 30 minutes, after a sprain like mine, that is a feat.
2. Caylee tried Peanut Butter for the first time last night (without my knowledge) and loved it, when I saw her, her face and hands were covered, but I have not seen her that happy in a long time.
3. Bryce starts school again tomorrow after a 10 day break due to snow, I am so relieved.
4. My friend Leslie and her daughter came over today to help me out and her daughter, Lilly, who is 9 said "Babysitting is hard, I thought it would be so much easier than this". That is so true and being a mom is even harder.
5. Caylee is 10 months old today.
6. Someone thought that I was pregnant and asked me about it this week. To clear the air, no I am not pregnant, I hope to be loosing weight very soon. (Crossing my fingers)
7. Jason and I are reading the book of Mark right now and I am starting to realize that the Christ that is described in the four gospels is very different depending on which book you are reading.
8. We will be finishing Battlestart Gallactica this week, I am glad to be done, but have enjoyed the show. I wish that it was a little more on the PG side of things though.
9. It is difficult for me to receive service, but I am learning that it is a blessing to receive as well as give.
10. I read a statement from a feminist atheist woman in an article that said, "I don't know what it is, but I love reading mormon housewife blogs. They are so shinny and happy, I don't get it" I thought this was very interesting, but at the same time I was very greatful to be shinny and happy, it means I am doing something right.

Weekend Wrap Up

We had an eventful weekend with birthday parties, basketball and knee injuries. Bryce's friend Kainoa had her 4th birthday party on Friday and we had a great time. We have some really wonderful friends that I feel blessed to have in our lives.

Birthday Girl

Iwanani, the birthday girls sister, she never smiles on camera.

Jason and Bryce with our friend Jack, who is wearing the coolest shirt ever.

Worst angle for a picture ever!

Caylee is riding her stroller with her friend Lucas, who is three weeks younger than her, even though he doesn't look it. They were both born six weeks early, but are doing great.

On Saturday I was playing in a basketball game with the women in our ward. We had one our first game and decided to play again. With only a couple of minutes left to the second game, I was about to make a great play, when my body said, you are no longer a teenager, and I twisted my knee. I am recovering quickly, but it is still frustrating. Jason, my Mom and my Mom have been angels, taking care of the kids and the house. I also wanted to thank several of our friends, who know who they are for the help with the kids. I feel truly blessed for all of the people I have in my life.

Clean as Fresh Snow

As I was driving home this morning, from my parents house, I had some suprisingly deep thoughts. First off, I want to express how grateful I am for the atonement. As our city as been shut down by snow and freeze, I realize that a fresh snowfall is like repentence. It is beautiful, pure, fresh and clean. Each snow flake is unique, just like each of us. I always feel God's love after a fresh snow fall, I don't know why, but it touches my heart.

It takes about 24 hours for the brown of the mud to creep up out of the snow and dirty the landscape. Give it another day and it just looks dirty outside. This is so much like us our lives and decisions. None of us is perfect, but we can be for the one moment when we ask for forgivness and use the atonement. The perfection does not last long but we can always come back to the Lord and ask again. Teir is no limit to our persnal snowy landscape.

Sorry if this was a little too deep for some of you, but it has been on my mind all day and I felt a need to share.

Ten on Tuesday (The Great Freeze Edition)

1. After yesterday's wonderful snow fall, we had a freezing rain that hit us overnight and the entire city is more than shutdown, it is at a stand still.

2. Jason was supposed to be out of town, but due to the freeze, he did not make his flight and he got to work from home again today.

3. Bryce has been dealing with a bit of cabin fever, so our cure for today was a dinosaur costume. He ate, slept, played and went outside in it today.

His scary face

I had to go to the store and Bryce insisted on coming as dinosaur

4. Caylee stayed in her pajamas all day today, but after her bath she got in a new pair of pajamas, ah the life.

5. Rose, our dog, went out this morning and decided to reenact a scene from Bambi, he legs could not stop moving and she fell flat on her belly. It was well worth the ice.

6. Bryce and I went sledding outside for 5 minutes with trashbags and a cutting board.

7. Jason went ouside with us while sledding and he slipped on the ice and all of his limbs were in the air at once. Bryce thought it was the funniest thing he had ever seen.

8. Every time Bryce kicks his soccer ball that Papa got him for Christmas, he insists on schremeing at the top of his lungs, "SOCCER" he has been at it for a half hour.

9. The show V is on tonight and I am very excited.

10. I want to come up with a craft to work on with Bryce tomorrow, I will post results later. (Any ideas are appreciated)

Snow Day

We are lucky if we get snow every other year, but this is the third storm so far this winter. It has not stopped all day, so we ware a bit crazy in the house. I have a lot of thoughts going through my head, but can't seem to be productive. I had my first weigh in for the contest and in week one I lost 3.1 pounds. I don't want to put where I am at because I am a bit embarrassed, but that is why I am doing this contest in the first place.

Caylee has been sick for two weeks now, I wanted to take her to the doctor today, but the entire city is shut down. She and I came home from church early, but she still is happy.

Look at that messy face, I just love it!

This was Bryce's silly face

Jason working from home, because of the snow. He hated working in the messy library.

The view from our back yard!

Caylee is now crawling

Yesterday Jason and I were talking in the car and discussing the difference between the journey and the destination. I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I don't think you can appreciate the destination, without understanding what you learned on the journey. I think that this applies to a lot of aspects of life, spirituallt, my physical health, being a mother or parent, being a spouse, being a daughter and sister. There is so much I halearned over the years, that could have been wasted on someone only looking for the end picture. I sometimes can struggle with this, but it is something I really want to enjoy. I don't know if this made sense to anyone else, but it did to me.

Fun Weekend

I don't have too much time to write because Jason wants to watch Battlestar Gallactica, (we are on the last 10 episodes) so here is a run down of our weekend. Jason and I had our first date in months and even got a babysitter. We had dinner at Panera and then went and saw Tron. Our evening was not original, but it meant the world. I just love my goofball husband.

Today Jason watched the kids while I took pictures of church basketball. We are taking pictures every week and posting them for all the kids. I am hoping that it won't take up to much time.

Well that about covers it. On the workout and weight loss competition front. I am quite proud of  myself, I have kept my calorie count all week and had 4 one hour workouts this week. Woohoo! Let's hope we have good results on Monday's weigh in.

Photo Frames

My dear husband bought me some nice photo frames for Christmas and today I tried to decide what I wanted to put in them. Really tough! We have almost no pictures of our family around our house and it is all my fault. I can never decide what I want to do. So while I am still struggling with deciding, I thought I would post some pictures from last year before Caylee was born.

Bryce was the killer rabbit from The Holy Grail

Jason making a Doctor Who face



Last New Years when I was pregnant



The Great Gorcery Challenge

Grocery shopping with toddlers is difficult. Typically I bribe Bryce with candy, that if he behaves in the store he gets to pick out a piece of candy at the register. He was great in the store, but in the parking lot he ran into the street with oncoming traffic while I was putting the baby in the car. AAAGH!!! I finally chased him down, spanked him and told him no candy. I had 3 older women looking at me like I was the worst mother on earth. I felt horrible.

So we get home and Bryce wakes up from his nap and with a dead face looks at me and says: "You hit me" I replied yes because you were bad and he then said ok, "you hit me, so I get my candy".

I need to put myself in timeout.

Ten on Tuesday

1. My body is feeling its new routine and workouts. It is a good hurt and very encouraging. Tiday I ride the bike for 40 minutes, ran a mile while Bryce rode his bike and did some weights.
2. The Spongebob curse: Bryce has been potty trainied since the beginning of October and he has had very few accidents, but in the last two weeks he has pooped his pants three times and each time he was wearing Spongebob Squarepants Undies. I think that the sponge has something out for me.
3. Our family has been covered in green snot for the last 5 days and it is not the best time I have ever had, but at least we all suffer together.
4. Caylee has the coolest army craw that she has developed within the last week, it is the funniest thing I have ever seen, I am proud of her creativity.
5. We have a new computer and I am IN LOVE.
6. Bryce can go 5 miles an hour on his skut bike with no training wheels, his stomach and back muscles have developed really fast.

7. North Carolina Snow Clothes. It does not snow here often, so we do not invest in the winter clothing for our children, but when it does snow, we don't want them to miss out, so we have our own tools. Plastic bags and duct tape, Bryce's feet stayed toasty warm. We could not find his hat so he is wearing my hat from the 2002 Olympics (he did not love it)

8. Netflix is great, no comercials, cheap and easily accessible through the Wii

9. Christmas cards, I really enjoy getting Christmas cards from anyone, even people I see everyday, so I am liking the fact that I am still receiving them.

10. Service! We have had a lot of opportunity to serve this week between church amd friends and it has been a blessing for our family and I am grateful for the opportunities.

For The New Year

With it being the New Year, I have had a lot on my mind. There are so many things that I want to accomplish with my life, but sometimes it is easy to lose sight of the important things. I have two main goals this new year,

1. Being more consistent with my blogging and writing, because I want to make a book of it at the end of the year, so that my children have something to look back on and remember. I want them to know the love I have for them and everything that goes into raising a family and why it is all worth it. (I got this idea from my friend Jamie and I have not been able to stop thinking about it)

2. I have entered a weight lose contest with 102 other women that is from today to March 31, the top six ladies who lose the biggest percentage win money. I have gotten pretty fit in 2010, but I don't look it, so I am now counting calories, toning up and working on getting my body to where I want it to be. I am not looking to be back to where I was in High School, but I want to be happy with myself when I look in the mirror.



Our most recent family photo from September, I thought it a nice pic to start the new year!

 Now I know that both of these goals are going to be difficult for me, but I am really going to try hard, I feel very strongly about both. With that being said, I need to do my ab routine, IU already worked out for 50 minutes, so now is time for tonning, I hope to get Jason to shape up with me, because he loves a little healthy competition.